Why is marriage like a church?

Sunday, April 21st, 2024

Paul likens the husband to Christ and the wife to the church in his letter to the Ephesians:

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. Ephesians 5:22-23

The analogy reveals two things: how to strengthen marriages, and how to strengthen churches.

However, most readers lose sight of this wisdom by discarding the comparison based on an allergic reaction to these verses. This is due to two reactions: rejection of submission by the wife; disbelief of any comparison between the husband and Christ.

The health of modern marriage, however, should be front of center for the church. ^[1] Yet, if the divorce rate for Christians is, in fact, similar to that of the rest of the world, there's a problem.

But why?

Today I'll focus on two reasons before I return to talk about Paul's letter and the often overlooked insight he brings.

Two of the reasons:

1. Low priority
2. Insufficiently Scriptural

Why should marriage be a priority for the church?

Before I go into two of the reasons I believe that marriages at most churches fail at a similar rate to that of the unchurched, let's first set the premise.

Marriage should be one of the number one priorities for the church.

Aha! But that sentiment is wrong, you may think.

Sharing the Gospel should be the number one priority of the church.

I would agree. And herein lies the problem.

The Gospel message, itself, is tested and incarnated through a healthy, Biblical marriage.

And it does so in a couple of ways:

1. Marriage illustrates the Gospel
2. The Gospel, believed and practices, breathes life into Marriages
3. Married Couples are God's Untapped Evangelists

In other words, a church can see the effectiveness of their preaching and teaching by the health of their marriages. Unhappy, fragile marriages that remain in the dark, masked by false appearance or shame-driven cover-up signal a weak, impotent church.

I believe that a healthy marriage is so much at the heart of the church that one could preach solely about marriages for a full year and be more impactful than most typical churches -- no matter what the demographic.

Now, a church which did that would be certainly making marriage a priority -- and would do so while still placing the Gospel front and center every Sunday.

Setting aside this extreme case, I would argue

Is marriage a priority for the church?

Before I make the case that, in most cases, marriage is not a priority