Married Couples are God's Untapped Evangelists

Sunday, April 21st, 2024

One of the most common complaints, whether said aloud or kept quiet, is thedifficulty of speaking the Gospel into thelives of friends.

It's offensiveness and the overall fragility of the relationship just tends to make it....difficult.

Certainly this makes sense in most cases. Largely because the right context and openness....and all sorts of generalized excuses like praying and waiting for God to give the go ahead over-spiritualize things and just get in the way.

I certainly have been subject to these although without the waiting for God" part.

At least, from my perspective, I was honest: I couldn't find the time or courage.

But there has been one circumstance which has in geeneral made it easier to do, and it's one that is overlooked.

Under this example, I would make the case that there is no excuse. It's too hard to hide.

Perhaps this is why Church's don't offer this as well....it exposes them to the periphery of the gospel sharing.

And that is in the marriage.

There are a couple of flavors for this. But I"ll start with the one that can be most effective for both the church itself and for those who can be reached.

Inevitably, once "marriage season" begins with a church, particularly among earlier, younger churches, they begin to start to pair off and get married. Each of these married couples inevitably also know other friends who are also getting amrried or have recently been married.

The segue is so potent and possible....but I would argue is hardly ever executed with consistency.

(and as always, if your church is different, please reach out and I'd love to consider having what your church does shared more widely).

Married couples, particularly those with friends who are about to get married (scenario 1) and already married (scenario 2) are ripe for these conversations, and I"ll share how based on my own limited experience as a couple of one.

In the first scenario, the pre-marital honeyoon phase.

IF (big fif) the church has a meaningfully effective pre-marital program, to let other people kow.

This concept is likely one familiar to other Christians, but it's a somewhat foreign concept to others. I have shared and encouraged two married couples in their pre marital stage to get pre marital.

Now, in retrospect, I am seeing that perhaps the nature of the peremarital counseling isn't suitable for this (a separate topic) and that, it was largely accepted because it looks too much like the therpeutical model of the world.

But my larger point is the ease and readiness of acceptance by those in the pre-marital stage.

The argument should hopefully be one that each married couple can make not weakly,m but with vigor, because of the impact sucha program has had for them. And....it's a much ligher bridge for them to talk to even the most secular of friends.

Consider theelements that should make it easy for the Easy Button Evangelists (and no guilt, we all must, at minimum, pass through this phase on the road to being full fledged disciples).

Step 1
Share first that you went thorugh such a thing as Pre Marital. It can be used with all the woke relativism (I don't know what about you, but this is what worked for us, your truth, your mileage may vary) etc.

Step 2
What was an area of weakness that the program helped to unevil. And how. Here, I truly believe that the concepts from our own program are illustrative.

I think that our teaching on "Eyes to See, Ears to Hear" is something that languages the words of christ and the Old Testament, and personally, even if not quoted with chatper and verse, I due believe is part of the Word that believers must hear.

This talks about problems or potentially challenges, such as blindspots, and the need for role-defintions, can potentialy make sense to all but the blindest unbeliever.

Step 3
In my case, I was able to direct them and it was "free" -- which also surprised them.

But my belief is most of these pre-marital counselors are too far gone in the therapeutical model on the one hand; and most churches don't have the proper resourcing on the other.

I think that providing content in a wy that is both guided and relational AND vetted and instructed is the right way to do it.

Boom: you now have someone about to get married, The Most Critical Planting Season in Marriage, being exposed and exposedto the Gospel in a way that could be integrated into their actual life, which is Marriage.

Second Scenario - Married Friends
Once couples get married, most of their friends also tend to be other married couples.

I remember istting over dinner with one such couple and we were able to start to share lightly with similarities to challenges or arguments -- starting with the more humorous and superficial ones.

But we know that those tend to only scratch the surface.

Here, IF through your church the tools and framign to handle those problems are provided, can also be a way for the gospel to spread.

To me, any type of positive outcome from the teaching directly shares the Gospel (Why is marriage like a church?).

The greatest testimony, as we know, is how Christ rescues us from the depths of our sins.

But the testimony isn't a one and done deal. This may be the case for most churches.

But I would make the case that the living cycle of "sin" through conflict and the resurrection through restoration and forgiveness is, in fact, the gospel cycle that can be to easily forgotten.

Yet, isn't sharing this, and most importantly, how Christ leads one through this difficult time because of who He is, the most instructive and life changing part?

The idea of evanglizing through the natural discourage of life's troubles and the source of that healing should bee default mode because of how naturally it flows.

The reason why evangelizing is hard and is considered something to do selectively and when there's a sign from God is that it's often not a natural outflowing.

But marriage is so often the crux of society, the challenges and the benefits, that this could be the most important surface area of pairs going fourth into the world.

Luke 10:1 - "After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go."

One such pairing that is certainly a part of hte church are married couples.

But I bet this happens far less than it should.

Which leads me to my hot take, that Churches Don't Really Care bout Marriages.