Free from The Past - Day 5

Past hurts and traumatic memories can imprison your mind.

Do you ever replay a loop of regret, resentment, guilt, blame and shame?

Most people do.

Such a habit can be an impenetrable prison.

When replaying the hurtful comments from my wife, my parents, my coworkers, I have been literally paralyzed.

Replaying the painful past over and over traps you -- even when the events and people are long gone.

Unfortunately, the way out has its own traps. The biggest are the people closest to you who will dismiss your experience with “just forget about it”.

“It’s just your thoughts,” my wife told me the day after a traumatic event.

The hurt comes not because the statement is false. It’s because the underlying intention lacks compassion.

Although my wife probably thought she was helping, she said those words because she wanted my pain and suffering to end because it impacted her life negatively. So the intention was to remove the irritation. And to do so quickly and conveniently.

However, there is an escape route.

With the right support, freeing your mind from the past pains by compassionately leaving the past behind can be possible.

Paul’s says we are to leave the past behind:

Most people, like my wife in this example, lack compassion when they tell you to “just forget it” or “why can’t you move on” because they trivialize your experience.

Paul doesn't trivialize it.

He calls that renewal from the old pain a "crucifixion":

Romans 6:6:"We know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin."

Because it is hard to leave the past behind does not mean freedom will take a long time.

In our experience it often does because we lack support, understanding and power to do so.

Why do we hold on to what is painful?

One reason is it’s a habit.

As sick as it sounds, replaying and reliving your painful past can be as addictive and habit-forming as any pleasurable vice. It’s far worse because there’s no pleasure from it. Just self-inflicted punishment.

We have sad comfort in going back to a memory and a story we tell ourselves.

It gives us certainty when we prove to ourselves how hurtful someone has been.

But we don’t need reminders and comfort in pain.

If my wife acts out in anger when I need wise counsel, I don’t benefit from reminding myself of those events.

I need to be cautious and not trust her with decisions that affect me and the family, perhaps.

I can act with prudence without hurting myself, which I continue to do when I replay that scene over and over.

Once I recognize it's a bad habit, I can ask myself, "Why do you want to replay it?"

(Or better, like Holy Spirit press into your heart and ask the same question).

Some reasons come forward:

• I replay it to justify my distrust and resentment
• I replay it waiting for her to apologize
• I replay it thinking the past will change
• I replay it to be sure both me and my wife know this was not right

Freedom comes from looking forward.

A forward that can see a future designed by God can help untangle you from the prison of the past

If you enjoyed this, there is so much more I want to share with you about freeing your mind and escaping the conforming prison of the world and the flesh.

Digging into how to free your mind by thinking in fresh new ways may be one of the most important things you can do.